I'm one of those people.
the ones that talk, reach, send, give, create for
I love other people.
I love their uniqueness, the texture and result of their choices, their voices --
what they have to say.
Sometimes, when what they have to say differs dramatically from what I have to say... well,
that can be a challenge to appreciate -- but in truth -- i do.
People fascinate me.
I love that each factor of our lives,
each choice, each turn around a different bend, each surprise, each new moment of each new day creates a new pattern, an altered hue, a change.
I love reaching, and experiencing people.
I can discuss it in a way that makes me sound altruistic and painfully generous.
I can do that. Yet, in truth,
I wonder if that is indeed the truth. Not altogether,
I am sure.
For reaching and touching and connecting and giving and considering and loving and knowing and talking to and hoping for
does a couple of things -- for me.
One, it enriches me. It provides for me
new texture, new shadows, new sounds and music, new things to consider, new ways to approach.
I love that. More than anything I believe.
weird, sexy, wild, courageous, fearful, learning, wondering, judging, waiting, trembling, heart-filled, musical, conservative, cutting-edge, loving
It does another thing for me as well.
The darker side of all of this people other than me focused living.
It keeps me from the silence.
I know that I can live my life without really being all that concerned with that fact.
But there is a part of me that knows that spending time in this place is part of the next.... deeper....wise....experience for me.
for all of us.
Being completely alone, for me, is not an exercise is fear -- as it is for some.
It is an undertaking of courage.
It is in the silence of me, that my spirit pauses and my mind trembles.
Certainly my mind.
My mind loves to be busy... reaching, giving, considering, solving.
But to send my mind to the still, quiet waters of my own being? With nothing to distract? Well..... you're asking
So, I look at the yin and the yang, the up and the down, the soft and the hard, the you and the me of my life. and when I do
To embrace the texture and the sound and the noise and the problems and the solutions and the music and the dance and the interaction of
And, entwined with the patterns that live outside of the edges of my own mind
to know intimately.... my own,
Where i suspect