Friday, June 20, 2008

Boasting of Summer

So, i'm on summer break. that is really weird to say as an adult, but mannnnnnn is it fun.
For the past couple of years I have been long-term subbing for the Clark County school district. I have had "summers off", but wasn't paid.... So, I had to work. I got my teaching contract in January of this year, and therefore, though I don't make A LOT of money, I am getting paid. Right now. while I sit on my couch drinking iced coffee and watching the today show. Right now. While I'm listening to the dryer hum and watching my pups doze in the morning sun. I cannot tell you how fun it is.
I'm a week and a half into my ten weeks off. I know it's going to fly by..... And, to be fair, I'm not COMPLETELY free this summer as I'm taking classes toward my Masters in Education degree that I'll have completed by the middle of December. Regardless, this is decadent and wonderful. When I started this program, I was thinking that teaching would be a stop on my career journey.... That may be true in the end, but this summer thing won't be easy to give up!!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

In the ether

it
breaks
my
heart

knowing that you're out there
hurting wanting
feeling alone and impotent in the confines
of a life
that lives you

knowing that you're navigating monsters that live inside your head
on your own
makes me want to reach through miles and miles of darkness
to
you

because i am contained in the silent ether of your mind
i cannot help in a way
that feels real

i can't give you the comfort of
a smile
a hug
a touch
a knowing look
i can't offer all that i have

to you

and
i want to
i want to

A special friendship.
Magic.
I love that you bring out the
funny
intellect
biting
loving
sides of me all rolled up into a stimulating ball of hilarious
loving
interaction.

Words can't capture.

can

they.

Could this magical, silent, friendship last forever
just as it is now.
Would that be so bad?
No..... not if i look at it through the windows of

each
moment

the unanticipated
spontaneous
times
we both appear in the same place
shock my mind
with glee
and joy
and electric connection.

you make me laugh & wonder & long for.

There is so much I don't know.

a
b
o
u
t

y
o
u
.

Your life, a canvas with only smudges of color that
i can see.
Yet I know it is rich in it's fullness.
Your depth and texture
your unique injured purity

speak to me.


I am here. In silent ether.
The secret confines of your mind
hidden behind

cheerios and baseball practice
arguments over bill collectors and paint colors
the drive to a job that fills the days to fill your wallet

hidden behind the furniture
neighbors
moves
questions
hurts

daily daily

i remain.

your.
friend.