Sunday, August 31, 2008

Perfect for now

sunday morning silence

eric is still sleeping.... reveling in nothing to do
eyes hidden from bright nevada morning light
cozy
i came downstairs
fed my persistant 17 year old cat
water
and fed the dogs

now me

the sound of percolating coffee
bubbles of lazy perfection
against the hum of the air conditioner
keeping us protected
from the
still too hot nevada summer sun

the smell of morning
reminding me of the sounds of clinking spoons against
cold water glasses at Ann Sathers on Belmont
the feel of crisp Chicago fall mornings

the now of my life
quiet and calm
perfect
for
now.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

On a clear day

On a clear day...
She stood before a sea of us
and sang

On a clear day.......................
You can see forever....

I listened
and heard

You know the difference,
don't you?
When something comes to your ears
and it penetrates
the film
of keeping out curtains
that keep so much
away from
our longing souls.

Sometimes that's good,
and sometimes
it puts off
peace
and growth
and more good.

On a clear day
she sang

i felt the truth of it.

When I am clear....
I can see forever
when
I look without
and when
I look within.

On a clear day
there is nothing between me and God
Nothing between me and life
living
feeling
creating
being

So many things can get in the way
of
a
clear
day

Fear. Anger. Wanting. Needing.
Indulging. Procrastinating.
Engulfing myself in something other than
what calls for me
in every single clear moment.

It might be the foggy, thick dependance on someone, something.
Food.
Sex.
Purging.
Pot.
Being heard.
Hiding.
Depression.
So desparately wanting to be loved.

Yet
on a clear day
we can see forever
and
know
that all of those things are
simply fog
in the midst of perfection.

Shades of immediate pretense of satisfaction
that hide the
so close truth
that

love
belongs
to
you.
forever.
and there is nothing that can ever change that.

On a clear day
you
can
see.