Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Way it Is

Seems like there's always something going on.
Something to recover from.
Something to work through.
Something to challenge and to conquer.

Seems like there's always something
looming.

A heartbreak.
A disappointment.
A driver that gets in my way.
A question that I cannot easily answer.

Even just after I
see
the most beautiful
golden
fire
rise of our star

or

the most delicious hug
or breathtaking connected conversation with a friend
or a phone call
I've been waiting for
but didn't even know it

or

a quiet, full of nothing and everything moment
while I rub the belly of my
innocent dog.


There is something.

The memory of that time that hurt so much,
The rejection from that person that I thought I needed.
The loss of what I thought was the core of me.
The boss that doesn't appreciate me.
The midnight trips to the freezer for ice cream.
The argument from a million years ago that still echoes in my mind.

There is                  always                    something.


Seems like that's just the way it is.

Experience beauty
and
work through stuff that challenges me.

And maybe
that's just the way
it is
supposed to


be.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Kingdom

King of his world
All the people all the things
under his capable command.

The world outside

just a story
that someone else tells.

He keeps the walls of
his fortress
strong
and impenetrable,
his subjects adoring and loyal.

It had always been enough.

For a moment,
or just a little longer,
he was distracted.
His eyes averted from
his kingdom.
He allowed his mind
to wander from the painting that
is his world.

Like a hook in his fleshy cheek,
he was pulled.
His breath taken away as
he saw
what lie outside of
his kingdom.

Humbled and afraid
intrigued and intoxicated,
he knew that
there was more
than what existed inside.

But
what of
those that
looked to him
for their everything?

Their hope.
Their love.
Their adoration.
Their loyalty.
Their need.

Ultimately, he could not continue to look out of the opened window.
He could not bear the thought of their knowing that
he wanted more than his kingdom could provide.

So he grabbed the edge of that tiny, opened wooden door
that showed him the wonder
of more.
He swung it slowly on its hinges
and
he
closed
it.

A sliver of light shown through the edge of the door,
yet the latch
as it sunk into its lock
made an audible sound.

He knows that there is wonder outside of his kingdom,
but he will not taste it today.

Monday, September 02, 2013

Too Expensive

It was delicious
intoxicating
wonderful
perfect in so many ways.

She loved it more than almost everything.

but

It wasn't free.

He paid in stress, fear and risk.
She paid in money.

It wasn't free.

Interestingly, he lost the ability to pay before she did.
But she would have.
Eventually.

That beautiful thing that made her lose

her head
her heart
her mind
her thoughts
her reason

is no longer being funded.
Not
with money and not with risk.

She keeps kicking it
shaking it
screaming at it
grabbing onto the nothing of it
crying into the space that it held

trying to make it
continue running.

It ran so well.
so perfectly.
like a dancing ballerina inside a music box
playing the most delightful and exotic tune.

The thing is,
and what she failed to accept
is that it could not
keep running

without
payment.

Not this time around.

Her heart does not understand
that this thing
that was like a dream
and was so perfect
didn't belong here

for now.

Though she knows
with everything that she is
that it lives truly in a
somewhere that she cannot get to,

It was simply too expensive
to be here
now.