I wonder when I'll go.
I wonder what it will feel like.
I wonder if time will pull me in a slow arc over
expectation of loss
and days and days of goodbyes
too painful to say out loud.
Or if I will be swept away in an instant
leaving only a heap
of the me that I thought I was.
I wonder if I'll know
that night meanders toward me and
if I'll welcome it with a peaceful resignation.
If I'll hold the hands of those who have
walked in my life's heart
and let their fingers slide slowly
off of mine.
Or if, like a whip, I will find myself
watching. Goodbye already outside of
I wonder what it will be like
when I go the way
that all have gone before.