Sunday, May 11, 2008

Won't I miss her?

For those who don't know, my mom died of cancer when I had just crossed the threshold of 10 years old. What follows is an imagined dialogue between myself and God prior to my birth.

Me: God?

God: Yes love?

Me: So, I'm going back again soon....

God: Yes my expression, you've wanted to go again.

Me: I know. I do want to. I'm just always a little scared when I get ready to leave.

God: I know. I understand. I think you will love this go around.

Me: I think so too... I'm not sure about this losing her while I'm so young.

God: You've had her many times before, and this time, she wants to help you learn to really believe in yourself on a deeper level.

Me: Yes, I want to learn that. That I am capable and lovable and able. That I have everything I need within me.

God: Indeed my love. You will learn that and so much more.

Me: I'll miss her though, when she goes, won't I?

God: You will. Yet this missing will teach you as well. And we both know she'll be very close to you even when you can't see her.

Me: I know.

God: And, you'll be back here before you know it. Stronger, even more loving, and full of joy.

Me: Yes. It's gonna be great. Hard, but great.

God: Great indeed.


*M* said...

Wow...that was incredibly poignant and deep. I love the conversation with God and knowledge that this is all planned out before we even get here. I also really love the idea of coming back for an even deeper and deeper understanding. Great piece.

Eti said...

That is a wonderful perspective. Have you ever read The Shack?