Monday, March 28, 2005
in 2 days i have a biopsy on a tiny spot in my right breast. it's interesting to observe how i have, or haven't dealt with it at all. i've known about it since the middle of january. one thing after another has put it off, and it's finally here. the moment the appointment was made i felt fear. fear of the procedure, and fear of what could be. is it possible that I could have breast cancer too? Is cancer that insidious in my family? I've always thought I'd be the one to escape without it.... and perhaps I have. I feel a part of me preparing to deflate. How will I feel if I'm told that I have it? numb. scared. aha. see? i don't know. i haven't, in general, taken good care of my body. or my spirit i guess. do i get on my proverbial knees and pray now? beg? promise that I'll be good if I escape this? No. just be in the moment. Two more days.